I believe a relationship exists between thinking and walking, more so when your path takes you along less trodden routes. By nature I’m a solitary walker. My mind working better when my legs are moving and void of conversation. A recent holiday along the Solway coast, unearthed memories from younger legs revisiting an old route by way of an evening walk from Kippford to Rockcliffe. My companions on the journey were brooding clouds, short-lived showers and recycled sunlight from the embers of the day. Good fellows I would say.
Years of working from home, building a business that would ultimately rob me of time, and before I knew it nourishment for the mind, saw me isolated from people and places for long blocks of time. This isn’t healthy for the body or mind. Isolation and solitude can cause writers and artists to be more likely to suffer with bipolar disorder.
I exchanged greetings with a young couple sporting two fine looking spaniels. My own black dog (not to be confused with mans’ best friend) was fortunately absent from exercise on this particular day. Under a black sky trimmed with grey and more rain on the way, I watched the young couple pass and disappear from view, I wished a wish to bring back the time that passed me by too.
People do suffer for their art, and clearly some art stems from suffering. Does this make painting and writing the most dangerous professions in the world? It’s no secret that creativity and mental illness are connected – the death of Robin Williams was, perhaps, a sad testament to that fact.
As I descended into the warm overcast evening of Rockcliffe, I sat on a bench and stared out to sea. This painting a memory to thoughts of making up lost time.
Tomorrow, I’m due to find out why I’m loosing the use of my right foot. Nerve damage or worse, a condition that has deteriorated since Christmas, possibly linked to diabetes and general ill health. I’ve lost nearly three stone in weight since November and nobody knows why. Haven’t been able to fit into a pair of size 34” jeans since I was 16. Chest X-Ray results on Monday, yeah I’m really looking forward to that. Can’t say I’m a happy Easter bunny. Not enough time for painting and my diversion to oils has been a mixed affair. Enjoy your Easter.
Some of my recent work has lost direction. Excepting failure as part of the process means failures still have value in the learning process. It’s not always the final product but the process we take in getting there. I don’t strive to be perfect, only better than my last piece of work. The lesson is to not give up and to accept possible failure as a part of process.